hanging like stars over our heads

the unspoken dreams we do not admit

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broomclosetkink
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Save a bike
broomclosetkink
I just need to rant.

Holy fuck I am so pissed off right now how do I even breathe.

I cleaned last night before I went went to bed -- for two hours. I woke up due to pain, and spent a further two hours cleaning. On the kitchen. I was quite literally up at three a.m. sweeping and loading the dishwasher and cleaning the fridge. Four hours of work into one room because SOMEONE IN THIS HOUSE is a complete and utter pig, but whatever, not naming names.

So this morning I get up, again due to pain or I'd still be sleeping, brush my teeth, pull my hair back, and go start breakfast. Get bacon in the oven, and what do I find sitting beside the sink but a dirty bowl full of dirty silverware. Gut reaction is to pick up the bowl and hurl it into Grandma's face while screaming "NO BAD GRANDMA NO NO." But I didn't, because composure. All I said was, "Hey Grandma, look." I opened the dishwasher, put the dirty dishes away, and shut it, and said not another word. I wasn't even hateful

And then the ranting starts.

"I'm so sick and tired of you, you act like I don't do anything --" she actually doesn't, so I mean.... "I see you make messes and look at your bedroom, you pig!"

Um yeah, my bedrroom is messy. Because when I feel like cleaning, I want to clean the public areas, so if someone comes over, I'm not tempted to blind fold them. But given I cleaned on it a week ago and it is a solid 50% better than before, ummm....

So she goes on, and on, and on, and ON, about how dirty I am, and how I am a bad housekeeper, and how I  am so mean to her, and I better stop talking about her housekeeping skills or she's going to start rant about me (yeah but you already do I don't know why you're threatening to do something YOU ALREADY DO)...and I'm just kind of staring at her like, are you fucking serious?

Sometimes instead of putting silverware in the dishwasher she licks it and puts it back in the drawer. She fucking licks it. TRUST NOTHING NOTHING IS SAFE.

Dogs pee in her bed, she doesn't wash the sheets/blankets...for weeks.

She has trained the dogs to mess in a certain room of our house. In a room in the house so she doesn't have to let them out.

When she cleans up messes in that room, she uses pee water to mop up pee please tell me how pee water fucking does anything especially been it's the same water you made a week ago.

On bad days she LITERALLY throws trash in the living room floor and just leaves it. Like, "there is a trrash can beside my chair which I could use but no, the floor is bigger."

I LITERALLY CANNOT KEEP UP WITH THIS WOMAN. I TRY, AND I TRY, AND I TRY; I AM REDUCED TO TEARS AND BEGGING, AND SHE GIVES EXACTLY ZERO FUCKS ABOUT THE STATE OF OUR HOME.

I'm fucking exhausted, sick, stressed out, and did I mention exhausted? I don't mind to clean house, but I want help maintaining it once I've gotten it clean, instead of rushing to see how quickly we can mess it up again. I CAN'T do everything around here, I keep trying and my body won't let me. I want to.

Mostly I just want to go live in my sister's kitchen cabinet, and crawl out when they're sleeping and just cry because everything is clean because they give an actual fuck about their house and I am just SO FUCKING DONE.

THE RED WEDDING GAME OF THRONES SON A FUCKING BITCH MY SOUL IS BROKEN
cunt
broomclosetkink
so I was watching the Red Wedding (it took me actual hours because I kept pausing it and pacing and doing other things to try and avoid it)

and then it happened

and I haven't cried so hard over a tv show in ages like mother fucker why would you DO THIS TO ME I was really hoping the Red Wedding wouldn't be as powerful as it was in the books, just because I'm emotionally fragile and love Robb so much it is actually painful. But then it HAPPENED and oh my God Rob is like "MUTHAR" the way he says it with that northern burr and WHACK and then Catelyn I DON'T EVEN LIKE CAT OKAY I DO NOT EVEN LIKE HER

But if your heart doesn't fucking shatter into ten billion pieces when she sees her baby fall down dead then you are not actually human you are not even Vulcan you are the actual spawn of satan possibly the anti-christ and I will kill you with fire

AND GODDAMN IT GRAY WIND HIS EYES AND THE LAST THING HE SAW WAS ARYA A BIT OF THE NORTH AND MAYBE JUST FOR A MINUTE HE WAS A LITTLE BIT HAPPY THAT ARYA WASN'T DEAD AND THEN HE WAS DEAD AND OH MY GOD MY HEART

I ACTUALLY CAN'T STOP CRYING AND I AM SICK TO MY STOMACH LIKE I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO VOMIT AND FLEA WAS SO UPSET BY SOBBING EARLIER HE WAS CRYING AND LICKING MY FACE AND THEN HE JUST GAVE UP AND HOWLED FOR A WHILE WHICH JUST MADE ME CRY HARDER BECAUSE GRAY WIND AND ROBB WHY DOES GRRM HATE US WHY WHY WHAT DID WE DO TO HIM

I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO  PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR AND BREATHE AND EXIST

and yet there's a huge part of me that is like "Mother fucker, I want to write something this soul shattering one day."

King Rob, Good and Brave
Yesterday
broomclosetkink
I did a thing, you should read it.

Dragonspawn doesn't have the same meaning when the king looks into hazy gray eyes and a frown so dark it makes the babe look like a tiny, sullen Ned.

I have a pretty serious amount of emotions about Robert Baratheon, and really think he could have been a GREAT man. I don't exactly think he and Lyanna would have had a healthy relationship, especially because my headcanon is Rhaegar was her great love, but the idea smashed into me and made me it's bitch. I JUST HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS AND IT MADE ME CRY AND THERE'S A BABY JON SNOW, OKAY, BABY JON WINS AT EVERYTHING

Uh, it's A Song of Ice and Fire fan fiction. Or Game of Thrones. Actually, it's both. Go. Read. Die of the fluff.

I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE WINDS OF WINTER WITHOUT GOING MORE INSANE THAN I ALREADY AM
stoned
broomclosetkink
Okay listen, I am having some really intense ASOIAF feels right now, and I need to let them out

In that if Jon is not the son of Lyanna and Rhaegar, I will fucking burn down North America

If Jon is not Azor Ahai/the prince that was promised, I WILL BURN THE ENTIRE WORLD DOWN

And if Young Griff really is Aegon, I'LL FUCKING BLOW UP THE MOON.

also

The Winds of Winter better damn well have: the discovery of Jon's parents, even if he doesn't find out (I think Bran will find out first), Bran getting a clue that he's turning evil and is super scary, Jon coming back to life and making Melisandri shit herself and go "OH FUCK STANNIS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE. MY BAD," and also some mother fucking HOWLAND REED up in this bitch. GOD JUST GIVE ME HOWLAND I MEAN HE SOUNDS SO AWESOME AND WE NEVER GET TO SEE HIM AND IT CAUSES ME PAIN

FUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK GRRM PLEASE WRITE FASTER I AM THE LAST PERSON THAT SHOULD URGE SOMEONE ELSE TO NOT WRITE AT THE SPEED OF SLOW BUT I AM IN PAIN PAIN P A I N, DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING? I JUST NEED THE WINDS OF WINTER BECAUSE I HAVE READ THE OTHER BOOKS TOO MUCH ALREADY AND I SPEND TOO MUCH TIME PINING FOR THE NEXT ONE AND PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEAAAAAASEEEEEEE.

Okay, well, Callista melt down is over now. I just really needed to get that out so I could continue being a functioning human. I'm going to go reread the series AGAIN. Maybe Ned won't die this time. Right? I totally bet he lives. Fuck yeah. (I'm setting myself up for heartbreak, aren't I?)

(My ear infection is getting worse instead of better. I'm getting...gunk out of my ear. :/ I don't even know what that's about, but I'm pretty sick of it.)

("Oh sure, Callista," I tell myself, "you're sick, go read books that make you want to crawl into your grave so the pain of fictional characters can't hurt you anymore. This is actually an A+ idea. You're a fucking genius, you know that?") 

Half Sick of Shadows, Chapter One: in dreams, she comes
Save a bike
broomclosetkink

Haltingly, and with a great many tears, Rose gives the Doctor her story. From the beginning (run, that one word, emblazoning him across her heart for all of time), to the end (Rose Tyler, I –) and everything in between. He listens, quiet and watchful.


Doctor Who Meta OR Why Rose Tyler is Perfect and Needs to Come Home
Dalek
broomclosetkink
Listen, I just need to make this incredibly, crystal, perfectly clear:

I will fucking bludgeon Steven Moffatt with a blonde Barbie that Eleven kisses if Rose Tyler doesn't come back to the show.

Meta ranting on Rose and what all the hints to her big return have left me withCollapse )
MAKE IT SO, MOFFAT, MAKE IT THE FUCK SO.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled LJ, now.

Heliacal Rising, Chapter Eight Part Two
Prongs
broomclosetkink
Black family values at work, amirite?

“Don't you realize what you're doing?” Alphard is shouting, and there is a great crash of china. “Genocide, Wally, that is what you're funding. The mass extermination of an entire people and culture!”Collapse )


Heliacal Rising, Chapter Eight Part One
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broomclosetkink
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Wynne Riley and the Marauders. Please, hold your applause.

Peter, wrapped in a tattered and stained sheet, smelling strongly of alcohol and honey, as well as boasting two purple and black eyes with a painfully swollen nose, says, “I really am sorry about the thing that...that happened with the...should I go down to the kitchens and apologize?”Collapse )

Heliacal Rising, Chapter Seven
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broomclosetkink
Holy shit, another chapter? The world is obviously nearing its end.

Merriweather tries to think of a tactful way to have this conversation, she really does. But upon coming up short, she shrugs and simply dives in. “Sweetheart, I love you, but you're stupid.” This, Merriweather feels, is the duty of a best friend.

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